By Caroline Turnbull, Counsellor and Therapist (Bulawayo)
It is important first of all to understand that all human beings operate from learned behaviour. They do what works based on previous experience. Those in authority are adept at pushing the right buttons to elicit the response they are looking for in order to create the outcome they desire. Know this! Behaviour can be predictable and in the case of roadblocks, it usually is.
Understand that the vulnerable amongst us can be and are preyed upon. The first line of defence is to reduce any sign of vulnerability that you may be projecting. Remember that the way you are treated at a roadblock is not about you personally, so try not to internalize this. Do not make it about you. Remember also that if you get angry, you are losing control, giving away your power and immediately you lose any credibility.
Look at the behaviour of those in authority at roadblocks as simply doing what they do to achieve the results they want. You can influence the outcome by the way you respond. If anger gets the best of you, you will simple wait longer, have bigger fines and achieve nothing more than making a bad situation worse. Be cognizant of this and you can influence the outcome and achieve the best-case scenario.
Tips:
Be prepared. Carry provisions in your car. Water, wet towelettes, spray bottles – the current extreme heat contributes to irritation and frayed tempers!
Have a plan in place that if you are driving with children that there is someone you can call who can quickly come to you, collect your children and remove them from the situation. Women and mothers feel more vulnerable and therefore react badly when their children are present in a difficult situation. Remove the children from the equation if at all possible. This will free a mother up to focus on dealing with the situation more calmly.
If told to pull over, do so, switch off your car and ensure it is parked safely with handbrake applied. Only if safe and appropriate to do so, step out of the car non-confrontationally and calmly. The reason for this is that if you are sitting down and someone is hovering above you, you automatically feel intimidated. Standing up will shift the balance of power and enable you to feel more assertive.
Realise that there is a distinct difference in being aggressive and being assertive. Aggression is confrontational and angry. Assertiveness is the polite, calm knowledge of and speaking out of your rights. Don’t confuse the two. It is vital to remain calm and polite no matter what is being said. Easier said than done, but necessary to increase the odds of a favourable outcome.
Remember that the behaviour of the police is purposeful and often designed to get you to lose control. Maintain eye contact with the officer if possible and speak calmly, quietly and clearly. Eye contact makes a connection on a human level and very few are immune to this. Always greet pleasantly. It may make a difference and remaining calm and pleasant yourself will help to keep you in control of yourself.
Remember also that anger is a natural response to any feeling of threat or injury. Know that you may not be able to control what happens in life but you can always choose your response. Being aware of this can help.
Your aim when being stopped at a roadblock is to leave it having achieved the best possible scenario. Deep breathing reduces feelings of fear or panic. Affirming to yourself that staying calm is imperative, together with the knowledge that there are resources available to you and that behaving negatively yourself will only worsen the situation, should be helpful. Remain rational and calm and employ all the practical measures you can, so that when you are stopped, you have coping measures at hand.
The situation on the roads is unlikely to change. Coping measures are essential and it is up to each of us to learn what we can to help us feel more empowered. We hope that these tips will be helpful in helping the vulnerable among us to take back some control
An errant apostrophe slipped into this piece. Also, can making eye contact be seen as rude in some cultures? Especially when they are angry eyes?
I don’t agree with the getting out of the car; it makes you even more vulnerable. The police are not allowed to take the driver’s keys, or their licence, to impound their vehicle at the road side, or even to force the driver to abandon the vehicle and go to look for cash to pay an optional spot fine. The police officers should identify themselves before the driver engages in any conversation with them. If they don’t, they could be bogus, in which case the driver should act accordingly.
Thank you for your feedback. The part about getting out of the car did state “only if safe and appropriate to do so” and each situation should be judged on its own merits. It is also a recommendation only and a person is always at choice. Research does show that an individual does feel less assertive with an authority figure hovering above him or her and that part of my contribution merely serves to illustrate that fact.
My apologies for the errant apostrophe. The piece was requested and written extremely quickly so the inadvertent error did slip in! Thank you for your feedback.
Can someone please write more empowering articles like this. I suggest how to respond at a road block. A friend told me that after greeting and stating force number, and name then purpose of road block should be stated as well. There should be reason and they should not just do hit and miss looking for faults. How true is this? What is the difference between being stopped by the vid and the traffic police. Should traffic police check for licences or is that the job of the vid to see that they are licensing people. There needs to be clear distinction. In zimbabwe we really shouldn’t say that ignorance is not defence because where are these things really taught in depth to that level? The min of education needs to look into incorporating lessons about the constitution and constitutional rights into the curriculum so we can be better knowledgeable citizens. Half the time no one knows what’s supposed to happen and so rights are infringed.
A good article, thank you very much, Caroline. (Note the comma, Romly!)
The most important thing in my opinion is never to back down, if you are in the right, and have been wrongly accused.
Like a muddied spring or a polluted fountain is a righteous man, who gives way before the wicked. Proverbs 25:26.
Also understand that the sole motive for these roadblocks and fines is to feed a corrupt kleptocracy. I use various tactics – fairly aggressive but always controlled.
1. I never hand over my licence. I hold it against the windscreen, where it can be clearly seen but not touched.
2. I ask the policemen to show me his identification, and to allow me to write down the details. If he won’t/can’t, then I will say, “Well you are obviously not a genuine policeman.” This generally gives him a moment’s doubt, which I use to drive away. (This is not wise if there is a chase vehicle there.) I do this before I pull over, as this adds tension to his life, and makes it easier to drive away, when the opportunity presents itself.
3. If asked for my spare wheel, fire extinguisher, reflective triangles, I will pull the lever to open the boot, and invite them to check. I will also make a comment to the effect, of how many times a week do they need to check these things, and what happens to the money from the fines? This also puts them on the back foot.
4. I was stopped at one roadblock and the policeman introduced himself as Sergeant Dube. I replied, “Good day, sergeant, I am Captain Wheeler.” He replied, “OK, sir, you may proceed!” Quite fun.
5. The thing which baffles them most, is that almost every motorist comes up with a different defence, which they are not expecting. Let us keep this up. But NEVER give way when you are right.
P.S. Is it possible to get hold of the regulations regarding the behavior of the police at roadblocks. If they are imposing the law on us, presumably they are also expected to behave within the law.